Brave by Faith
Greetings lovely one,
I know that a lot of people are doing reviews of the year and talking about their accomplishments, or lack thereof. If I were blogging on my site, I’d likely be publishing a year-end review — but my blog site is on hiatus and I wasn’t kidding when I wrote, all the way back in January, that I just wasn’t feeling it this year. I didn’t actively write a big list of goals, and I didn’t plan like I normally do. My life in a notebook contained the bare minimum. For the first half of this year, my only real goal was to attend to my health issues.
So I won’t be focusing this last love letter of the year around reviews or goal setting. Instead, I’m sharing a few thoughts around words that came up as I “lived the questions” (my 2023 theme). One word that has repeatedly come up when I tell people about my journey these past few years is BRAVE.
According to Merriam-Webster, “brave,” as an adjective means “having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty; having or showing courage”
And according to Dictionary.com “Courage and bravery are often synonyms. However, they sometimes have different nuances. Courage is often centered around facing difficulty or danger without or despite fear. Bravery can be associated with daring or intrepid boldness.”
I’ve shared here before, that like so many others, my life has been in transition mode for a while … the pandemic adjustments, returning to school, graduating, answering a call to ministry, moving several times, making lifestyle commitments, losing loved ones, doing the work of peeling more layers of the metaphorical onion, etc. So, I agree that navigating change takes quite a bit of daring and facing difficulty despite fear.
And here’s the part that I feel people tend to skim over: Navigating change causes GRIEF. And I’ve shared quite a bit about the relationship I’ve had with joy and grief these past few years. Because grief refused to be ignored, I began leaning into it — I leaned into the questions that sprung up from pain (why me, why them, why this, why here, why now, how come, what now … you know the questions that don’t always have the answers we want to hear). Then, somewhere along the way, I connected with grief and trauma specialists to learn more about the type of work they do, and to explore ways I could create healing for myself and others through community-based LAMENT circles. Well, that opened up the door to more CHANGE.
However, despite change being a constant I warmly welcomed or accepted with great trepidation, I didn’t feel brave or courageous about my choices or actions until I took time to PAUSE and acknowledge what it took to follow through on what I said I’d do.
Once upon a time when taking Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies Quiz, I got Questioner (surprise, surprise). Here are some traits of that personality type that resonated with me: Questioners “meet an expectation only if they believe it’s justified” and “questioners follow their own judgment — sometimes when it flies in the face of experts who (allegedly) know more.”
I believe something is justified if it aligns with my values, and/or when I practiced discernment by listening deeply to Spirit for guidance. My judgment calls aren’t always the ones that give me the result I want … but I try really hard to listen to my gut, and trust my inner wisdom. But more importantly, I TRUST that I am loved by the Holy One, and that that LOVE is my guidepost when I lose my way. And I have indeed lost my way, only to be found by God, in my darkest hours, with the weight of poor decisions on my shoulders, when I felt all alone. (The Look Up Child album by Lauren Daigle spoke so greatly to my condition, Friends.) The reason I didn’t feel like I was being brave is because more than anything, I just wanted to be FAITHFUL.
My faithfulness and trust in my Higher Power gives me the courage to say yes to some opportunities, and nope to others. Even when it baffles people that I’d “leave money on the table.” When I was a full-time student it was very easy to turn down all of the random business propositions that came my way. I realized how relieved I felt, walking away from all the supposed “opportunities”! I realized how much I admired and respected my network of friends and colleagues who take great pride in their accomplishments.
But still, I realized that I wanted to go my own way. I wanted to walk the path that called out to me. Being a full-time student again made me concentrate on the full plate I already had in front of my face. I didn’t have time to covet my neighbor’s yard, so to speak. And y’all, when I say that LIBERATED me — I truly mean it. The more GROUNDED I am, the more comfortable I grow in my ability to say no, naw, nah, I’m good, and nopety nope to anything and anyone that takes me out of alignment with faithfully walking the path of love.
It takes DISCERNMENT, and discernment is something I PRACTICE and practice and practice. I happen to belong to a faith community that practices communal holy listening together at least once a week. I also engage in Spiritual Friendships and ACCOUNTABILITY.
I’ve also worked with all kinds of coaches because they have a skill set that I’m willing to invest in to accomplish what I’ve discerned are my next steps (even if that next step is to reach out to yet another coach). Sometimes I need clarity, sometimes I need tool sharpening, sometimes, I need a mirror — and a good coach can help with that — but what they cannot give me is VISION. That comes from me and my intimate dance with my Beloved.
These words I share with you because I’m not interested in resolutions or goals or intentions without context. I don’t have magical years; I have years of emotional ups and downs, growth, and stuckness, hoping and waiting, assuredness and unknowing, downward spirals and ordinary miracles. What an incredible ride life is! I have a wild and vivid imagination, yes, but as a spiritual being all up in this human experience, I subscribe to a “cycle of seasons” that opens me up to a “cyclical spirituality” where my interaction with the Sacred is continuous in all aspects of my life … from the mundane and secular, to the ritualistic and disciplined. I do the work, I rest, I play, I create — this I do as best I can with what I know until I know better (h/t Maya Angelou).
Earlier this month, a phrase came up in my spiritual accountability group: “a place of possibility.” I liked it so much, I decided it would be a theme I sat with some more in the new year.
The words were also timely. I’ve observed how fragmented, burned out, and stuck in the middle of it some of you have been feeling. I’ve noticed how well some of you take care of others, but don’t offer yourself that same compassion or empathy. Some of you want to have the courage to make big moves, some of you want to be brave enough to walk away from the familiar in order to truly be free. I’ve been writing these love letters to you as a way to say “I see you.” But even as an introvert, I know there is tremendous healing in communal gatherings, so it’s time for me to come from behind the computer screen.
I’ve compiled some of the most meaningful takeaways I’ve learned from my lived experience as well as the additional research I did while at seminary in order to create a soulful experience for women Activists, Therapists, Ministers, and Creatives who are changing the world.
I’m hosting my first retreat in picturesque Western Massachusetts with its beautiful mountain and river valley views. New England in the fall is absolutely gorgeous and I’d love to create a place of possibility together with you.
If this is something that interests you and you’d like to hear more hit reply and type “I’m interested” for updates as they develop.
Peace, Love, and Wellness,
Lynette
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What’s the Buzz? Here’s what’s happening
Available now: I’m a contributing writer to the latest edition of “Illuminate” — the only Bible study curriculum written by Friends (Quakers). Faith groups and communities all over the U.S. and some in other countries will be using this study guide in December, January, and February. So can you! Purchase a print or digital copy of Illuminate here: https://barclaypress.corecommerce.com/ILLUMINATE/Illuminate-James-1-2-Peter-Jude.html
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Tales from the blog keepers
For many of us, work is a significant part of our lives. It is where we spend much of our time, where we get our income, and often where we make our friends. Having a fulfilling job can be good for your mental health and general well-being. This guide provides you with tips on how to look after your mental health at work.
Humans tend to be inherently social. We often need other people to survive and thrive in society. We generally rely on cooperation and connection to move past obstacles and live life to the fullest. When this vital need isn’t met, it can have a variety of negative effects on our mental and physical health. Read more about Social Exclusion And Its Impact On Mental Health.
Muse of the month
Blerd’s the word
Have you checked out the new Doctor Who Christmas Special yet? We’ve been introduced to the Fifteenth Doctor, played by Ncuti Gatwa and I’m here for it!
Artwork by Kingsley Nebechi, inspired by 'The Church on Ruby Road' #DoctorWho
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