Embracing Complexity with Love in Action
Greetings lovely one,
In the last two months, the concept that "there is that of God in everyone" has come up in several conversations in different spaces, so I decided to focus my letter on it. This phrase is often considered a commonly held belief among most Friends (Quakers), even though we have different branches with diverse belief systems. What caught my attention was the association of this belief with neutrality. I found that interpretation interesting and wanted to think further about it.
Some time ago, I came across a small book called Practical Mystics: Quaker Faith in Action by Jennifer Kavanagh, where I read that the actual quote by George Fox is "Walk cheerfully" (contextually meaning purposefully), "answering that of God in everyone." The author’s translation is, "That of God in the self, answering that of God in the other. Love finds expression in action." This sounds like what was expressed in Mathew 22:39 (Love your neighbor as yourself). I’ve never known love to be passive or expressively absent; real love always finds a way to express itself through action, and that includes self-love.
I think back on the beginnings of my journey in 12-step programs. I took a deep dive into concepts like boundaries and non-attachment, caring enough about loved ones stuck in cycles of addiction but not at the expense of my own welfare, and not trying to control or bend them to my will so they would be what I thought they should be. I learned to love who the person was and not the frozen image and ideal of them. And I did so in ways that allowed for my emotional and physical safety. Another aspect of the program that kept me going back was hearing people from so many different walks of life share week after week. Whenever I stepped in those rooms, I was reminded that we humans are complex beings, full of colorful histories and contexts, and one week, someone could say something that made me inwardly cringe and the following week, they would say something that made me inwardly cringe at myself for not being more like that aspect of who they were. Nothing was monochrome or two-dimensional about the people in those rooms.
Our society has historically and contemporarily made power plays off of the othering of people. One decree, One print press pamphlet, one manifesto, one social media post, one influential bullhorn…it’s so easy to demonize or dehumanize a person or a whole group of people. This is especially true when they commit heinous acts or are atrociously cruel. For me, answering that of God in everyone is recognizing the whole beingness of the person/people - within them is the Breath of life, and we are all animated by that Breath - yet still walking in my purpose.
In Jesus and the Disinherited, Howard Thurman writes, “ To love them means to recognize some deep respect and reverence for their persons. But to love them does not mean to condone their way of life.” If my purpose calls me to love, then I live into the question of what love is and express it as best I know - thus far, it has never meant being a doormat. I think back to my readings of Fromm and M. Scott Peck's work, in addition to explaining that love is effortful… one of the passages from Peck’s book The Road Less Traveled that I continually return to is that "Love is not simply giving, it is judicious giving…It is judicious praising and judicious criticizing… It is leadership. The word “judicious” means requiring judgement and judgement requires much more than instinct; it requires thoughtful and often painful decision-making." Love that requires choice, judgment, extension, intention, and action? Whoa!
How that often translates for me in my current life station is that I try to be Spirit-led rather than ego-led. And Spirit has frequently led me to places I didn't imagine I'd go, speaking words I didn't know I had the courage to voice, and being around folk that require me to have a ton of patience! I try not to be reactive, and instead, I try to be responsive. I try to listen to the cry of the poor and downtrodden rather than ignore, villainize, or minimize that cry because it makes me uncomfortable (and somewhere in my sci-fi conscience, I can hear Yoda's "Do, there is no try") but here's my point; I recognize that by deciding to place my efforts into living out a vision of love that isn't someone else's vision of love - a love that walks hand in hand with justice - I have essentially taken a non-neutral stance.
Peace, Love, and Wellness,
Lynette
(More formally, Sister Lynette Davis, SFCC, but feel free to call me Lyn)
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