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Greetings lovely one,
Summing up my feelings about this month, three songs have been playing on rotation in my mind (Check in the Muse of the Month section). While they are all quite different in style and artistic approach, they share a similar theme: change. A lot of change has been in the air, and shifts became so acute I decided to really sit with how I felt in these tumultuous times versus when times have felt peaceful and stable. Do I speak from a place of privilege wanting things to remain the same? To go back to that “once upon a time when,” that holding on to the fuzzy, carefully positioned, rose-colored angle of a snapshot of memories from back in the day? Or do I jump head first in the pool of cool, stillwaters, travel on the road less taken and never look back?
I’ve been doing a personal inventory on how I’ve handled change until now, and the factors that helped me cope better than other times. This is a self-experimentation project that I’m doing in the spare time of the spare time I give myself (hello final MA degree project), so this letter will be quite short.
Even so – spoiler alert – I am too often (upsettingly so) stomping up the steps, slamming doors, and telling change that it’s not the boss of me and to “go on, git” … at least, until I’m not.
I do eventually come out from where I hide and accept, sometimes even embrace, change like it’s a tangible form I can viscerally touch, taste, see, smell, and feel. My senses perceive that the experience is heavy in my heart and nagging me in my mind. I’m living it, witnessing it, resisting its lure, and somehow trying to create unattached space for it … for change. The process is not easy.
When change comes to town, I can hear my inner child crying about how scared she is and I try to show empathy and compassion when she acts out in protest. On the other hand, my inner superheroine is looking toward the horizon hoping to see if there are additional ways we – that inner child and I – can become more of who we are meant to be in this life. Or perhaps the key is to remember who we really are before this month or that year … or before certain people did a number and left us feeling so at odds, so out of alignment, so unsettled.
Yet, here we are.
Coming to crossroads and making decisions; asking if there are certain doors we need to open while closing others; determining if particular mountains require climbing, and if so, when and how do we catch our breath with these weather conditions and high stress levels?
Similarly, when can we rest our aching muscles? Conserve our energy? Find time to actually open our eyes and take in the sights?
“Courage is not the absence of fear.”
No, it’s an uncoordinated, wanna be Harlem shake-looking movement to the other side of what keeps you up at night. Dreaming weird dreams while you grind your teeth, and your eyes dart around looking for the exit sign, and you get a sudden case of the bubble guts and heart palpitations as you “one step forward, okay and another, one more!”
Changing takes that kind of courage. At least, for me it does.
Change is in the air and it has nothing to do with New Year’s resolutions, life in a notebook systems (planning helps though), or how to prevent 2022 from being 2020 too. How will you adjust? What will you take with you, what are you ready to let go? Do you have space inside your soul to be open, but not attached, to an outcome?
Like I said, I’m still sitting with these questions myself. I suppose we shall see what happens.
Peace, Love, and Wellness,
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Ongoing I’m co-creating stigma-crushing, mental health awareness merch for entrepreneurs and small business owners. Wear your support!
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Community Member Kudos Marble City Opera announced the world premiere of “I Can’t Breath” by Leslie Burrs (composer) and Brandon J. Gibson, happening on February 24, 2022. Visit https://www.MarbleCityOpera.com/tickets for more details. Congrats to longtime community members, the Burrs family (Carol and Leslie)!
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Muse of the month
Blerd’s the word
Do y’all remember the movie, The Meteor Man? Yeah, not too many people do. It was a Largely Unseen Gem by Robert Townsend. In addition to several of his works (especially The Five Heartbeats and the TV show The Parent ’Hood), I loved this movie! I consider it a classic and one of my important exposures to Black heroes when I was a child. When I got older and learned that Robert Townsend self-directed this comedic sci-fi film, I felt even more strongly how significant this work was for the long game.
Also, there’s this: Robert Townsend managed to create a wonderful world where a Black man could be bulletproof, hyper-intelligent, and capable of anything – and he chooses to go back to his community and change a broken system. While leaving children with a sense of playfulness and fun, the movie most definitely leaves adults questioning their actions regarding the community they live in, begging the question each and every one of us should ask: “Have I done enough?”