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No other day but today
Greetings lovely one,
Music is a big part of my life. In a conversation, I’ll typically make sense of things by connecting what’s being said to song lyrics (I’m kidding … sort of). Growing up my mom went through a phase where I wasn’t allowed to listen to anything but Christian music. Looking back, I suppose she meant well, but as a result of the restriction I began tuning in to more international entertainment. Around that time I started watching K-dramas and Bollywood films, eventually discovering Nollywood movies. Really enjoying the soundtracks and break-out performances, I developed an eclectic musical interest.
Nowadays, I don’t watch much more than sci-fi and anime online, but I still love all kinds of music and discovered that I can find sacred meaning in what’s deemed secular. How can I not find the sacred in songs that we create about our very real human experiences like heart ache, a sense of agency, and body positivity – especially when I believe there is that of God in everyone and that part of our reason for being is to co-create with God? But I didn’t shy away from songs and artists my mom played around the house. There’s this gospel song by Pastor Shirley Caesar that goes “Don’t be weary. Don’t be dismayed … You’ve been searching for an answer and no one seems to know,” and then a repeat of the words, “Keep patiently waiting for I know He’ll bring you out.”
I didn’t have much patience for waiting when I was a kid listening to those songs, and I still struggle with waiting as an adult. I often feel like society demands we feel a sense of urgency even in the mundane. If I just want to casually read a book, next thing you know, there’s a book challenge post about finishing 100 books in the year and then an accompanying advertisement about learning speed-reading. It’s like we make a contest, competition, or commodity of anything we can. There’s an app for all kinds of this and that. And I get it, I get advancement and ambition. I get goal-setting and achieving. But I also find myself thinking, “what exactly are we rushing toward anyway?”
I’ve often complained about being tired of scurrying along to nowhere on a hamster wheel, chasing an unreachable carrot, or lacing up my good running shoes for the fixed rat race. And while I think that this drive we have as a people is what helps us evolve, I often wonder what we’re throwing away in the process. Why are we so exhausted, burned out, and feeling the need to quit jobs at record numbers as a way to find happiness? What happens when that fleeting feeling is barely celebrated – let alone acknowledged – because the worry over bills, depleting savings, health issues, and caregiving kicks in? “On to the next” and “YOLO,” right? I’m returning back to that search for an answer that no one seems to know and the weariness of constantly looking outside of yourself to find it.
As I hear more sorrow-bearing news from family, friends, and fellow travelers ... and deal with uncomfortable emotions that come uninvited into the atmosphere ... the more I want to take a step back and question why I do what I do. I don’t want to live in a constant state of the chase, never savoring the feast that is my life which is full of music and stories and dancing and sacred moments that memories are made of, the kind I’ll cherish for the rest of my earthly existence. I want to be open to possibility without being so attached to what I think it should look like that I can’t seem to find settlement in my gut or peace in my mind that my journey itself is enough.
Some answers we probably won’t know. We don’t know why “the good seem to die young,” or if “the landslide will bring it down,” but we sure do hope that “He (She/Holy One) is working it out for you.” And I suppose that the best gift we can receive – when we don’t hear what we think we should hear – is the deeply listening presence of someone who is sharing this time and space with us right here, right now, under the same full yellow moon, enduringly waiting as we tend to the scared song of salty tears slowing trickling down our cheeks, ricocheting off our collar bones.
Peace, Love, and Wellness,
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What’s the Buzz? Here’s what’s happening
September Have you checked out the Soul Stimulators Sanctuary yet? Soul Stimulators Sanctuary is a safe, sacred refuge created as a space to nourish or refuel your soul. I will be offering mental health support through the Sanctuary starting in the late summer.
Ongoing Did you know that I have an online store? I’m co-creating stigma-crushing mental health awareness for entrepreneurs, freelancers, and small business owners. Wear your support!
Click the image below to go to the store.
Tales from the blog keepers
Over on the blog, I invited special guest, Alexis Francisco, LMSW/M.Div. to help me dive deeper into a conversation around spiritual practices that encourage healing in community spaces that center BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ experiences and wisdom.
Rev. Margaret Guenther and Christopher McCauley speak candidly about the power of our life stories, mutual listening, human brokenness, and God who is love.
As a sign of the times, there’s a burgeoning mental health app marketplace. But all apps aren’t created with the end-user in mind. Here’s How To Navigate the Overwhelming Volume of Mental Health Apps.
Muse of the month
LOVE AFTER LOVE
by Derek Walcott
The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
Blerd’s the word
So, I came across this post some time ago and luckily found it in my saved bookmarks. I'm doing fangirl squee all over it. Introducing the Blerdy Girls via Refrigerator - ART. As an aspiring cosplayer (*snorts*) this one is my favorite. You tell ‘em! ;-)